Family Dynamics

God has humbled me quite a few times recently about my attitude to my family. Lockdown has been a pressure cooker - it has revealed and reminded me of every annoyance, hurt, disappointment and disagreement I’ve ever had with my family. To add to this, with the monotony of lockdown life, we run out of things to talk about. Family interactions feel a lot harder these days. I wonder if you can relate?

Lockdown has also revealed my stubbornness and pride. I’ve felt hard done by; I’ve dug in my heels. I’ve thought to myself, “I’m sick of tidying up - I’m going to leave these dishes here for someone else to do…”, “I know that there’s not much to talk about at the moment, but I’m weary of making conversation….”

But the thing is, when everyone digs in their heels, nothing happens. And in my pride and stubbornness, I forgot a few things that I desperately needed to be reminded of:

I can choose how I respond to others

I can choose to sit in sin, or open my arms in grace. That is what Jesus did for me. He knows the depth of my sin; He sees it each and every day. He knows me to the core, the good and the bad. Yet He died on the cross to pay for the sin of all people for all time. He opened His arms in grace upon the cross, knowing that I would still sin. He did this in love, to restore my relationship with my Father God. 

I am called to live differently as a child of God

I have a responsibility to show grace and forgiveness because of the grace and forgiveness I have been shown - ‘Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you’ (Ephesians 4:32).

I have a responsibility to show mercy because of the mercy I have been shown - ‘Be merciful,  even as your Father is merciful' (Luke 6:36).

I have a responsibility to show compassion, kindness and consideration because of the compassion, kindness and consideration I have been shown - ‘Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience’ (Colossians 3:12).

I am human and I struggle

Each member of my family is human and struggles too. My brother is extremely concerned about germs and hygiene, some might say to the point that it is obsessive. This concern has multiplied during Lockdown. I find this aspect of him frustrating, and incredibly hard to live with. But just like me, he struggles with this sinful world, and just seeks to control things that frustrate him. 

I can look at my family and say ‘Why don’t they do this, that or the other…’ But God wants me to look to Him. He wants me to look to the hills, and see where my help comes from (Psalm 121:1). He wants me to rest in His grace, mercy and love. How can I show grace, mercy and love to others if my cup is empty?

The Lord fills my cup. 

He strengthens my weaknesses.

Through me, a cracked, broken vessel, He loves perfectly. 

If you enjoyed this, why not read:

	Relationships - Tim S. Lane and Paul D.Tripp
	Forgiving What You Can't Forget - Lysa TerKeurst